Why I am so very thankful

Yes, this post is a few days late but as they say, better late than never. Can I get an amen?

One year ago right about now, I can remember attending a Grateful Tea at my church. The Grateful Tea is an annual event where the women get together for fancy sandwiches, scones, etc and we share what we are most thankful for. Every year I cry while listening to what people are thankful for. One year a girl shared how she was thankful for ovarian cancer (at the age of 19) because of what it taught her about God, herself, friendships, and life in general. I think I actually sobbed while listening to her.

Last year I was in the beginning of my dark blue days and was having a hard time finding anything to be thankful for. I was racking my brain trying to find one thing I was grateful for, that's how sad I was. I listened as some women expressed gratitude for the new life growing inside of them or the children they already had, and that was really hard for me to listen to. In fact, I wanted to get up and leave it was so hard. What a difference a year makes. Now I am 4 weeks away from my own little miracle and I couldn't be more thankful. I recognize there are some friends that will probably read this that are struggling with infertility and I just want to encourage you to not give up hope, even though it probably feels like that is a whole lot easier than anything else right now. And really try to focus on all the things you have to be thankful for, because it's so easy to get so caught up in your struggle with not being able to get pregnant and to lose sight of all the good that surrounds you. Trust me, I know.

And so I'm thankful that God heard my desperate cries (and pleading, demanding, and threats) and He has blessed me with "Pat", whom I can't wait to meet.

And I'm thankful for this guy, who worked on his new closet all day Saturday and didn't stop til he finished it (and it looks great!!). What an amazing husband I have been blessed with.

And I'm oh so thankful for this group of people: a sister and cousin who flew 3500 miles to surprise me at Pat's shower; 2 of the best friends a girl could ever hope for who planned one of the best days of my life; and the support staff made up of Christian and Greg.  

And if I had a picture of every family member and friend who encourages me, challenges me, entertains me, prays for me, listens to me, and loves me for ALL my flaws, I would include photos of all of you.

I am truly blessed and truly grateful.

I think the Unibomber has taken up residence within me

You know how busy Pat is, ALL THE TIME?! Well, I'm pretty much convinced Pat is the next Unibomber. I'm not trying to label my child or that whole self-prophecy nonsense, but I'm pretty sure this baby is up to no good in there. It is always wide awake at 11:00 pm, 4:00 am, and 7:00 am (because those are the times Pat wakes me up) and it's tinkering around so much that surely it's building a bomb or two. And when I say tinkering, I mean TINKERING! Aren't babies supposed to be running out of room at this point in the pregnancy and not moving much? Cause this one is just as busy as ever.  

Pat was lazy yesterday, so lazy in fact that I was concerned. It didn't wake me up at 7:00 as per usual and I couldn't get it to move at all throughout the morning. I tried drinking a glass of ice cold grapefruit juice and laying (or is it lying?) on my side. Nothing. Then I tried hot tea. Nothing. I even slapped my belly a couple of times (very gently of course). Around 10:30 I felt hiccups and knew we were going to be alright. Then I took Pat for an hour and a half walk, during which time Pat slept. Hardly any movements for most of the day but Pat was back to it's hijinks last night, all through the night, and this morning. So we're a-okay at Team Hancock. As I type this, I can feel Pat putting the finishing touches on the bomb.

Had a lovely Thanksgiving dinner at our friends Greg & Tara's. The food was so very good but I didn't have much room for anything. A real shame. But I did spend the day thinking of all the things I'm so very thankful for. I think that will have to be another post all together.

Yesterday I took advantage of my day off to get a lot of errands done. I'm trying to find a bookshelf and night stand for the nursery and spent a good portion of the day visiting furniture and antique stores. Found nothing. Then Christian mentioned last night that he could use supplies from work to build a bookshelf using wine racking and it would cost far less than anything we could find. So there's another project added to the list (I think I'll still keep my eyes open for something though). Today he is working on his new closet in the spare bedroom. Since we live in a 70+ year old home, the closets are tiny and all of my clothes are in our bedroom closet. Christian's have been in the office, which is now Pat's room, and Pat's going to need the closet for all it's Juicy Couture, Ed Hardy, and Dolce & Gabbana attire. I'm doing 5 loads of laundry, all for Pat. Does one really need over 20 receiving blankets? Because that's how many I have. And I haven't counted the wash cloths but there's at least 25 of them. It will feel so good once everything is washed and put away, but I have a feeling Pat's closet might not be ready for a couple of weeks. That just means I can't post any nursery photos until everything is done.

What else? Oh, we stayed at a Bed & Breakfast last night. A friend very kindly gave us a gift certificate and we were going to give it to my parents to use when they come down for Pat's arrival but only my Mom is coming now so we decided to use the gift certificate for ourselves. Had a lovely dinner at a little family-owned Italian restaurant downtown and then headed up to check-in. One final escape before all hell breaks loose and our lives are forever changed.

Shower pictures coming soon. In the meantime I need to get back to laundry and writing thank yous (I have given myself a deadline of tomorrow night to get all 40 done). 4.5 weeks and counting!

Are you trying to tell me something?

I felt people looking at me a little funny as I strolled up and down the aisles looking for a bottle of wine for Christian and our friends to drink tomorrow during our Thanksgiving feast. I'm sure everyone thought it was for me and my baby.

And then the woman put my wine in this bag.

I will not be going back to the wine store until after Pat is born.

I am overwhelmed-Part 2

As I was driving to my mid-wife appointment last week, I realized that I am in a unique situation. You see, most women have either Christmas (and all that is involved with this holiday, from shopping to baking to everything in between) or a baby to worry about. They usually don't have both at the same time. 

Some women are able to plan out their pregnancy timing so the birth doesn't occur at the busiest time of the year. Other's, like me, are not so fortunate. Side note: When we first started trying, I can't believe I thought it would take only one time and I actually thought we would have the baby in July when nothing is going on and everything would be happy-clappy. I mean, that's how it worked for a lot of friends and family members. So funny that over a hundred attempts later we're having our baby at Christmas. 

Anyway, driving to mid-wife appointment, overwhelmed at all there is to do with both events. As I was sharing this with my mid-wife, I brought up how I don't know how I'm going to be able to get my Christmas cards out this year. And then the planets aligned and the entire reason why I chose this mid-wife occurred: she said "why bother doing Christmas cards when you'll be sending out birth announcements a few weeks later and you can wish everyone a merry Christmas then?" BOINK! How come this didn't occur to me? She's absolutely right! So no Christmas cards this year. No cookie exchange either, and maybe my family will get Christmas gifts before Christmas this year and maybe not. I'm not going to stress it. I've decided I need to be ready for Pat and that's where I'm putting my focus. We'll put up a tree and decorate the house, drink some eggnog while I bake A FEW Christmas cookies, but only after I get most of my to-do list for Pat done.

And I can honestly say that epiphany that my mid-wife shared with me was the most refreshing thing to happen to me in so long. That and the fact that I actually slept for 8 hours the other night for the first time since the beginning of August. I'm feeling great and am looking forward to what the next 5+ weeks bring.

So if you're expecting another Christmas card like 2 years ago when we dressed up like elves, think again. We'd still love to receive Christmas cards from our friends and family, just don't expect anything in your mailbox until late January from the Hancocks. 

Feeling far less overwhelmed than I did 4 days ago.

My husband has ovaries

First of all, I asked C if it was alright that I published this (and the accompanying title) and he said it was okay, so don't think I'm the WORST wife ever for writing this.

My husband is not only the funniest person I know, he's also very sensitive and very caring and has been an amazing support, not just since we found out about Pat, but ever since I met him. He's a superstar and most days I do not feel like I deserve him. I often wonder how someone as insensitive as me ended up with someone as sensitive as him. I also wonder where his sensitivity came from. Maybe the fact that he is sandwiched between 2 girls (an older sister and a younger sister). All that estrogen must have had it's effect on him, because the other night, as we climbed into bed, Christian said to me "I feel like I really need to nest."

And THAT'S why I think my husband has ovaries. I didn't even know he knew the term "nesting." I don't think I've used that term at all with him because I didn't feel like having to explain it to him. But I guess I'm wrong about that. Apparently he already knows! He did ask me not to schedule any extra-curricular activities--I guess he wants to stay home and nest. So if you need us for anything, we'll be at home building a nest, or something like that.

Note to self: Don't watch "A Baby Story" on TLC. I'm watching it while writing this and I'm literally sobbing. I can hardly see the monitor because tears are pouring out of my eyes. Too emotional to watch a baby be born right now. What am I thinking?

In other Pat news, I had my 34 week appointment yesterday. Yes, 34 weeks. Very hard for me to believe. A lot of the time I feel like I'm ready for Pat to arrive but then I have moments where I start to panic as I look at my "to-do" list. But then I watch "A Baby Story" and I want the baby NOW! Anyway, I'm measuring at 34 weeks exactly, not more, not less, so all of you people telling me I'm huge and so big, I'm actually not. I'm at my correct gestational age and size. Had the nurse ask me "What did you eat today?" after she looked at my pee stick. I've been eating a lot of fruit lately...maybe too much, because my sugar levels were up. But someone keeps leaving fruit on my desk at work and I want them to know I appreciate it so I eat it, plus all of the other fruit I already bring for snacks and lunch. It's probably the reason why I'm up another 2 lbs since my last appointment. That or the fact that the baby is putting a lot of it's weight on right now. It's almost 5 lbs and about 18" now. Crazy. My midwife checked to see if I was dilated since she was already in there doing a strep test, and who do you know is dilated to a 3? Well, it's not me. Not dilated but my cervix is softening. So that's a good sign.

The mechanic just called and said the car was ready to be picked up, so I need to lace up my running shoes and walk down and get it. Glad it's a balmy 64 degrees today--perfect day for a walk.

Oh, and if you see Christian, be sure to ask him how his ovaries are doing. I'm sure he'd really like that.

So busy

Sorry, no time to write the last few days. My sister Heidi and cousin Amy surprised me for Pat's shower and the weekend was filled with lots of activities. Update coming soon. 

Tonight we're going to our childbirth class. I guess we're learning relaxation techniques tonight. I'd better bring my Yanni CD!!

Oh, we did finally buy a dresser/changing table last night. Phew! That makes my stress level go down 50 points right there. Hopefully we can get a lot more "to-do's" crossed off the old list this weekend and I will be able to post nursery photos soon. One can hope.

Our little pineapple

Every Thursday I receive an e-mail from babycenter.com giving me an update on the size of the baby and other things particular to where I'm at in the pregnancy for that week. Most of the comparisons are to fruit or vegetables so it's always entertaining to see what the comparison will be each week. Today's update said Pat is now 4 lbs, roughly the weight of a pineapple, and 17" long. I'm glad Pat isn't shaped like a pineapple or rough on the outside like one because that would not be a pleasant experience delivering that. 

In other Pat related news, the nursery is coming along quite nicely. The crib is up! Yay! There are still at least 20 other things we need to do still but at least the crib is up. That was my big goal for the room even though the little pineapple will sleep in a bassinet in our room for the first weeks. By the way, if you're expecting or planning on becoming pregnant at some point, you should know that cribs do not come with mattresses. I did not know that until Christian assembled it. Now we need to go out and get one and believe me, it's not that simple of a process as you have to have THE right mattress for your crib. In my initial reconnaissance work, I've discovered that mattress sizes are not standardized. Oh, and it needs to be firm and the cheaper mattresses sag in the middle after awhile (according to reports I've read online). It's not that big of a deal, going out and getting a mattress, I'm just saying I wasn't expecting it. But we'll add that to the to do list and I'm sure we'll get it prior to December 31st, Pat's due date.

Now I'm craving pineapple. Is that weird?

I literally threw up in my mouth a little bit

Why, you might ask? Because at our childbirth class tonight we watched THE birth video, which I somehow managed to never see in sex ed class in elementary or highschool. When I saw the placenta come out I:

1. Threw up a little in my mouth (I have some nasty heartburn right now so it was most likely due to that)

2. Said out loud "What is that thing?! That is absolutely disgusting!", which I didn't realize I'd said out loud until the people around me started to laugh.

Again, good thing there are no patchouli-wearing, armpit-hair growing hippies in our class because they probably would have thrown their Birkenstocks at me in disgust over my disgust of the placenta.

And now, for my almost 33 week photo op. You can see for yourself why my friend's mother-in-law told me I was huge. See it for yourself.

I think if my boobs were bigger, maybe they'd make my stomach look smaller. Not sure on that theory. Maybe my stomach is really just that big!

"You're huge!!!"

That's what my friend's mother-in-law told me yesterday when she saw me. I'll post my 32 week shot tonight or tomorrow. We've (Christian) been busy on Pat's room and you know how time flies when you're having fun!

While we've been busy with crown molding, painting, installing, etc, we did take time on Saturday night to watch a really good movie that I highly recommend. The Brothers Bloom. Watch it. I think the rating must be PG or something as there's no nudity, no eff words (at least I didn't hear any) and no or very little violence. But a clever and entertaining hour and 20 minutes or so. That's all I'll say about it. You can google it if you want more info. 

Meet Fred, my cankle

WARNING! ACHTUNG! BE YE WARNED! The image you will see is quite disturbing and may cause sudden vomiting, blacking out, general disgust, or might mean you won't be able to look me in the eye ever again.

Meet Fred (as in Flintstone), my foot and ankle that has morphed into something non-human. You can see why my co-worker shrieked in horror a couple of weeks ago. I must admit, it's pretty grotesque. But I really don't know what to do about it. I elevate it whenever I can, I drink a minimum of 10 glasses of water a day (everyone says to drink more water to flush out the swelling), and I massage it. Maybe I need to perform an exorcism on it. Oh well, just one more thing to ask the mid-wife about later today.

By the way, I'm just glad it's not the summer right now. I have a feeling Fred would be even larger!

Where have all the hippies gone?

When I signed Christian and myself up for a natural childbirth class, I honestly thought we'd be the only non-Patchouli wearing, armpit shaving, meat-eating people in the class. Last night was our first class and boy was I wrong! Everyone in class was just like us--WASPS (or WASMS, the M replacing the P due to the Mormon factor). I could tell Christian hated every minute of class and I'm really surprised he hasn't asked me if he has to go to another class. I think he might just realize that I would literally tear his face off if he asks such a question. But I know he wants to bail out.

So we learned all about proper diet and exercise during pregnancy (did you know a pregnant woman should consume a minimum of 6 servings of whole grains per day? how is that possible? I probably consume 3/day since I am a protein girl, not a carb girl), basic anatomy, how much weight gain is appropriate, what the weight gain is comprised of (baby, placenta, boobs, blood, fluid, etc) and other stuff I already know SIDE NOTE: I didn't know that I can't take my pre-natal with my calcium supplement because the calcium cancels out the iron in the pre-natal. Oops! Anyway, why are we learning these things we already know about? Oh, maybe because everyone else in the class is barely pregnant. I didn't know you were supposed to take this class earlier in your pregnancy. Here I am 8 weeks out from delivering while everyone else is at 18 weeks into their pregnancies. We're in class with a bunch of eager beavers! One girl isn't due until May! MAY!?! She's going to forget everything she's learned and have to re-take the class.

We finished up class with a relaxation method similar to the cat & cow position in yoga. Then I had to lie on my side while Christian moved my pelvis around. Not my favourite position or feeling. I don't think we'll practice at home. I don't think my body has produced enough relaxin hormone to open up my pelvis yet cause I swear I heard my pelvis creaking.

So, the big question is why. Why are we taking a natural childbirth class? While we're not getting a doula or birthing coach, nor are we learning the Bradley method or hypno birthing (which I think is a crock), I would like to attempt an epidural-free birth. Do I think I can do it? No (sorry all you that have told me that you think I can). But what I want to do is hold off on getting the epidural for as long as I possibly can. I don't want to be one of those women that get to the hospital and immediately get drugged up. I'm not judging you if that's what you did, I just don't want that for myself. And who knows, maybe I'll make it through without the epidural and maybe just a little cocaine, I mean, whatever it is they give you to take the edge off (haven't learned about that one yet...that might be taught at next week's class). So judge away. I'm really okay with people being upset with me for not thinking I can do it. But there's always next time, right?

Tomorrow marks month 8. I'll have my 32 week photo up for your viewing pleasure, although you already saw plenty of it in my Playboy bunny costume.

My fetus: The perfect Halloween prop

Who knew that baring your pregnant belly would be such a hit at a Halloween party? But it was. For the third year in a row, we took home best couple costume for our take on Hugh Hefner and a Playboy Bunny, Misty, that had fallen on hard times (a.k.a. knocked up). We really didn't think we had a shot this year since we thought our costumes were lame, but I guess other people didn't think so. Hey, we'll take it! There were a lot of strangers at the party and they all wanted to know about Pat, like what Pat is, when Pat's arriving, you know, the usual questions. Pat is definitely a conversation starter with strangers. I guess baring my enormous stomach also helped. And for the second year in a row, I was coerced into singing Madonna's "Like a virgin" and even got down on the floor again and crawled towards the crowd. Christian said he heard someone say "Oh no, she's not getting down...oh no...no she isn't...YES SHE IS!" Of course I did. I'm not going to let the fact that I'm 7 months pregnant get in the way of my act. Although almost wetting my pants was different than last year.

Hugh & Misty.

 

MJ resurrected.

 

My favourite costume of the night--A One Night Stand. There was even a clock radio on the night stand.

 

Mrs. Doubtfire & Hugh.

Just like Madonna!

 

Phil & Beckie after Beckie's first golf lesson.

What a strange collection of people: Misty, Michael Jackson, Wonder Woman, A Jill-O-Lantern, and Paula Dean!

I've got nothing for this one.

A likely couple: Rodeo Queen & Sid Vicious.

This is definitely going in Pat's baby book. This is what happens when you steal someone's camera at a party and take a lot of self-portraits.

Then yesterday we were roped into hosting a "trunk" at our church's Fall Fest/Trunk-or-Treat. We didn't think Hugh & Misty were appropriate for little ones so we went as Ken and Barbie, our favourite costume from a couple of years ago. I had a great time interacting with the kids. Some kids even asked to have their photos taken with us (I'm sure if we'd gone as Hugh & Misty some adults would have wanted their photos taken with us). I hope we weren't too creepy looking in the photos. The highlight of the morning was getting to start a fire engine and make the siren go off (they use their feet to do that...I guess that's safer than taking their hands off the steering wheel). Thanks to the Oracle for letting me have my few minutes of fun.

Firefighter/Maternity Barbie.

There's my hero!

And today we had a very productive day of finishing painting trim, doors and a bookshelf, buying blackout blinds for Pat's room, caulking baseboards, buying curtain rods, tidying our disaster of a house, laundry, groceries, making a vat of spaghetti sauce, and getting some other errands done. The husband wants me to clarify that when I say "we", I mean "he" for most of the productivity (but I will claim the spaghetti sauce).