An update on Patrick

or is it Patricia?

Well, we still don't know. We ended up going to the hospital last night after my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart, lasting 55 seconds for over an hour. I thought for sure "THIS IS IT" and was so afraid of delivering the baby at home that we got out of bed and headed to the hospital around 1:45. After checking me thoroughly (and by thoroughly I mean very painfully...when my mid-wife checks me it doesn't hurt at all but it felt like the nurse was trying to check to see if I had strep throat via my cervix), we discovered I was still only dilated to a 1. I was one of those women that was so convinced I was at least a 3. Nope. Just a 1. The good news is I'm 80% effaced and the baby has dropped to a -2, which is better than where I was at my mid-wife appointment last Tuesday.

After walking the hallways of Labour & Delivery and then Postpartum for almost an hour, she roughed me up again and discovered no progress had been made. So she called my mid-wife who gave me 2 options:

1. Go home

2. Get a shot of morphine and go home

I chose option #2. The pain of the morphine shot (my first ever) was totally worth it, slurred words and all. We got home around 4:30 and I slept until the phone rang around 9:00 and then drifted in and out of consciousness until 12:30.

So now my contractions are 45-50 seconds long every 10 minutes. Some of you experienced this for days before your child finally came along and if I have to endure this for more than a day, well, I'll probably go crazy. CRAZY I SAY. And the hospital said I cannot come back unless my contractions are 60 seconds long, 2-3 minutes apart for an hour and so painful that they are unbearable. Can't wait for that!

By the way, Avatar was amazing. Pat either really enjoyed it or hated all the noise because s/he moved so much the entire 3 hours. But we certainly enjoyed every minute of it and recommend seeing it in 3D in the theatre. I just don't think you'd get the same experience watching it at home, no matter how large of screen you have.

I'll update you if anything changes. In the meantime, I'm hanging around the house going crazy (but at least my suitcase is now packed for the hospital!).

S/he'll be comin' round the mountain when s/he comes

For some reason this song is in my head these days. I guess it's because I really feel like Pat is coming sooner than later. I've had a lot of activity "down there" in the last 36 hours or so, starting with contractions at 12:30 a.m. on Boxing Day (12/26). They lasted less than an hour so I just rode them out. Funny, I thought I'd been having contractions for the last week but once you have an actual contraction, you realize quickly that those haven't been contractions--they were more like cramps. BIG difference.

Then last night I woke up at 2:00 a.m. not feeling quite right and realized I was having more. They lasted until this morning but again, the duration and frequency haven't been cause for concern. What has been cause for concern is the blood. Sorry to be graphic but at 2:00 a.m. I discovered blood and called the hospital where I'm due to deliver. I explained everything to the nurse and she told me that if it got heavier or if Pat stopped moving or if my contractions got stronger and longer, then I needed to come in. But none of those things have happened. Pat is moving around just as much as normal. The blood flow is the same and the contractions have eased off. I do feel like Pat has dropped a little though as I'm starting to feel uncomfortable and walking isn't as easy as it was when I got up this morning.

So we're going to go see Avatar in 3-D this afternoon and then come home and make pizzas. I'm guessing Pat will hold off on making it's appearance anytime in the next 24 hours, giving us enough time to get that suitcase packed for the hospital and all of the other little nitpicky things we need to do.

We'll keep you posted.

A paradigm shift

As recently as 2 weeks ago, I had strangers coming up to me telling me I was the cutest pregnant woman ever. Trust me, I have loved comments like this. I am the baby of the family and have always loved the limelight so all the attention I've been getting the last few months has been wonderful. There's nothing wrong in admitting that, is there? And when Pat is born, all of the attention shifts from me to Pat, so I've been trying to store up all of the kind words and attention because pretty soon I will play second fiddle to someone who will be far cuter than I ever was.

I don't know what's happened in the last 2 weeks but now I have strangers approach me EVERY day saying things like "You look like you're about to pop!" or "Your due date must be soon!!" I just smile and say "Yep, pretty soon" but what I really want to do is shove them into a display of some sort, or kick them in the shin, or say something nasty like "And when are you due?". I like attention, but when you're implying that I'm of Shrek proportions, I'm not so cool with the attention then. And I really don't think I'm that big. I mean, I'm 39 weeks along but at my mid-wife appointment this morning I was measuring at 36 weeks. But clearly I must be ENORMOUS since everyone keeps telling me I am.

Everything is good with Pat. Heart rate was 146 as Pat was moving around a lot. Dilated to 1 cm, still 50% effaced. Pat hasn't dropped yet and my mid-wife said a lot can happen in a week, but if Pat doesn't drop within 2 weeks (1 week past my due date) then I will probably have to have a C-section. She didn't say it to worry me but to prepare me just in case. That is the last thing I want, so if you're looking for me, I'll be out walking, trying to get gravity to force Pat down where s/he needs to be.

Well, my friend is on her way over to help me put up all the artwork in the nursery and finally be finished with Pat's room. Photos posted soon.

Mommy, why does everyone call me Pat?

We were talking the other night and it came up that some of you who call our fetus "Pat" might be tempted to call the baby Pat when it arrives. And just so you know, you have full permission to, although we think the names we've chosen are a little better than Pat. But we wonder if little Rachel or Cohen will ask us in a few years why everyone keeps calling them Pat. We'll just shrug our shoulders and say "Maybe they have you confused with another goofy 4 year old."

Anytime Pat. Anytime!

Just a quick update for those of you wondering how little Pat is doing.

Pat still hasn't dropped, as evidenced by my 3:00 a.m. to 5:00 a.m. heartburn attack. Pat woke me up with a lot of movement and I realized my throat was on fire. I went upstairs (remember, I'm sleeping in the basement like a dog) and took my heartburn pill and went back down to sleep. Well, the burn was so bad that I couldn't lie down. So I sat up reading until 5:00, waiting for the burn to subside so I could get some rest. I can't wait for Pat to drop to ease the burn. I know this will bring a bunch of new issues (like the waddle) but I really can't wait to be done with heartburn 24-7. I really don't know how my husband lives with heartburn every day of his life. I would jump off a roof if I had to deal with this forever. The benefit of these 3 or 4 a.m. wake-ups is it's getting me ready to not sleep very much. I'm so glad I'm not going from getting 8-10 hours/night to zero, but have had a few months of transition. I now get between 5 and 6, which I think is more realistic for when the baby arrives (right?).

Last night we videotaped Pat moving around. We were watching Saturday Night Live and Pat was busy wrapping gifts or making cookies or something that required a lot of movement so I put the remote control on my belly. It was dancing around and Christian and I were laughing so hard at it. We'll see if we can edit it down and put it on here.

We also got the car seat ready and in the Subaru yesterday, with the help of our friend Greg who has 2 kids. We could not have done it without him. Well, we probably could have but it would have taken us most of the day and a lot of frustration and name calling. Today I am putting the final things in the nursery, like the humidifier, the breast pump, diaper bag, etc. We're also getting my suitcase packed for the hospital, just in case.

We've had yet another busy week of dinners, lunches, getting together with friends, and a lot of running around. Got to take advantage of it while we can.

Here's another one of the hilarious fridge magnets we have. Darn it! We were planning on picking up one of the panhandlers and have them look after the baby in exchange for some loose change and a granola bar.

And one final shot of my friend (and former roommate) Brandi. We went over to her house for dinner last night and had a lovely time with Brandi, her husband Edward and their gorgeous daughter Zoe.

Probably not going to have the New Year's baby

At my 38 week appointment this morning, I found out I'm still not dilated. 50% effaced though, so there's that. Pat still hasn't "dropped", which means my heartburn continues. I thought that drinking copious amounts of eggnog would help put out the fire but it only helped on the scale. My mid-wife said if she could predict an arrival date, she said the first week of January, BUT, she also said things could happen so quickly that I could deliver this weekend (but she's hedging her bets on January). I'm still REALLY okay with not giving birth anytime soon. I still need to buy a nursing bras or two and some other necessities, and once I get my family's Christmas gifts shipped this afternoon, I'll be able to start getting those things done.

The crib bedding is done and in the crib and I love it! I think Pat will love it too. The nursery will be pulled together next week when my friend comes over to help me hang the artwork.

We have big plans this weekend. Getting the car seat in the car. I'm sure that will be loads of fun.

For your viewing pleasure, a photo of Pat's parents taken last weekend at my book club Christmas party. I have THE best book club in the world and had a wonderful time with them (and their significant others) for one last hurrah before I probably won't see them for a couple of months. It's so weird to think that the next time we're all together I will be a mother. I think that every time I hang out with people and start to freak myself out.

Ma & Pa Hancock

THE best book club minus Val (who just had a baby herself). Everyone looks great in this photo except yours truly, who's staring off into the distance (or probably eyeballing some food). 

A letter of introduction

Oh, I hope you don't think that Pat has arrived (based on the title of this entry). Pat is still safe and secure in it's aquatic home inside my uterus. Hopefully Pat isn't going anywhere soon.

I wanted to share a gift I received from my mom at my Salt Lake City baby shower. She sent it down with my sister and when I read it, I got all teary-eyed, as did some of the women in attendance. Without further ado...

B is for boy which I might be.

A is for another possibility.

B is for blue, a colour I'll wear.

Y is for yelling - I'll do my share.

H is for Hancock, my last name, it's true.

A is for aunties, of which I have two.

N is for Nana, who loves me so.

C is for Christian - that's my dad, you know.

O is for oodles and oodles of love.

C is a creation of my Father above.

K is for Kristyn, my mommy so dear, who'll love me completely, year after year.

And so with these words, not just a few, I've introduced myself to you.

Good thing there's no "D" in "Hancock" because you can probably guess which word I would have begged her to include.

It's time to place your bets

I feel like I want to get in writing what I'm thinking Pat is and when Pat will arrive, just to see. A lot of people have baby pools but we aren't that organized. Instead, we'll have a Fantasy Football type of thing. We'll call it Fantasy Fetus, okay? It doesn't cost anything so you won't lose your shirt, and the odds are better than anything you could bet on in Vegas. So, if you want to participate, you need to make a comment on this blog with the following prediction:

1. Gender

2. Arrival Date

3. Arrival Time

4. Weight

Whomever comes closest will win accolades and bragging rights and I'll put a picture of them on the blog and write something really nice about them. If I had a sponsor I'd try and get them to kick in something, but sadly I don't.

So here's Kristyn's. Boy. January 6th. 3:42 p.m. 6lbs 11oz.

And here's Christian's. Girl. December 28th. 3:30 p.m. 6lbs 8 oz.

Your turn.

Here belly, belly, belly, belly, belly!

Okay, a couple of belly shots. They might not necessarily be mine!

Above is my Uncle Brian at his 65th birthday party. I think we might be due around the same time!! (Uncle Brian, if your kids show you this, well, I'm glad I live 3500 miles away and won't be coming home for Christmas)

Profile shot. SO festive with the tree in the background, eh? You've gotta love that nude belly panel. I like to push it down but it means my jeans always end up around my ankles when I'm out for my 7 mile jog each morning.

And finally, a shot I couldn't resist taking.

We heart Pat!  

The countdown continues

Well, I can't sleep. It's 12:17 a.m. and I'm still pretty wired. We had a delicious meal at our friend Misse's tonight, complete with stuffed mushrooms, cucumber salad, prosciutto wrapped chicken, corn (which I love) and cauliflower gratin. So very good. My appetite, which has been on the non-existent side as of late, came back in full force and I stuffed myself. Maybe that's why I can't sleep. Indigestion at it's finest.

We're having a busy week and the weekend is just as busy as we fill our evenings with non-nesting activities. We will have had plans every night but one this week. The husband can't seem to understand my need to be social right now, but it goes like this:

1. I truly heart my friends and love to be around them and don't know when the next opportunity to hang around with them will be.

2. It's a free meal and that means I don't have to plan for dinner or stand on my feet and make it. And my friends are very kind and let me sit there and not help with prep or clean-up. Score.

3. Ummm, I don't know if Christian doesn't realize this but our life is about to change and going out will not be as easy a task in, I don't know, 3-4 weeks.

So, if you need me, I've given up on the nesting and am taking advantage of this time to spend with the people I adore.

Here's tonight's fabulous chef. And doesn't it look like there's a halo around our heads? We're so angelic.

Last Sunday I did something an unemployed person should not do. I went to a trunk show for a Park City designer who only creates super cute kids clothes. Wasn't planning on buying anything because I'm wanting to buy clothes that are not yellow or green. Ended up drooling over these and bought them without giving it a second thought.

I just couldn't resist. Little bicycles for our little bicyclist (at least Pat had better love biking as much as Mum & Dad do). And hey, there isn't a hint of yellow or green to be seen.

A couple of weeks ago I received a care package from a friend who gave birth earlier this year. In it were magazines, apology cards to use when we take the baby some place and it's a nightmare experience, and some funny things like this fridge magnet:

Thank you Loren. These magnets make me HOWL every time, especially this one.

Okay, it's 12:42 and my Julia Child book is beckoning me to come hither. Belly shot posted on Friday. I pinky swear.

Damn you, Swine Flu!

Well, last night at our birthing class we were informed that the hospital where we are delivering has a very strict policy in place due to the stupid H1N1 virus. We are only allowed 2 people in the room while we deliver Pat. I really wanted to have a party, complete with champagne and hors d'oeuvres of course, with Christian, my mom, my sister, my friend Tara, and possibly my friend Brandi whom I had asked to take photos of the entire birth because she has mad photography skills. That's not going to happen now. As I'm typing this I'm periodically shaking my fist in the air to show H1N1 how I feel about it. Oh, AND, the 2 people I do allow in the room have to have both the H1N1 and seasonal flu shots and need to show proof. I thought this was the birthing class instructor just being overly cautious so I checked with my mid-wife at my 37 week appointment this morning and she said they are that strict. But she's going to try and sneak my sister in the room so she can be there. I'm ordering a nurses costume (one of those sexy halloween costumes) online for my sister to wear so she looks like she "fits in" and no one questions her as to why she's there. Or I'll buy that invisible serum I've been wanting to try out. Whichever one is cheaper.

So I'm not dilated at all, which I'm fine with. Like I've said, I'm not ready to give birth yet. I don't even have a nursing bra and I haven't had a pedicure either! Priorities!!! I've lost 2 lbs and am measuring 2 weeks earlier/smaller than I am. Heart rate was 132. Pat was incredibly active for most of the appointment. I think it's whittling some Christmas gifts right now. S/he is still head down but hasn't dropped into my pelvis yet, so the heartburn continues. The good news is my mid-wife said I could double the ranitidine since 150mg isn't doing the trick. 

I will take a bare belly photo tomorrow and post it so you can see it in all it's glory. Maybe I'll pose in front of the Christmas tree for a more festive feel to the photo. Maybe.

Sleeping with the enemy

I think that's how my husband has been viewing me lately--the enemy of his sleep. I'm not getting up in the night to go to the bathroom. I'm getting up to down a bottle of Tums. And I'm also tossing and turning so much because Pat has turned my uterus into a bowling alley or something equally raucous and I can't find that sweet spot. You know the spot where your body is angled in just the perfect way in the perfect place on the mattress and you can't help but fall fast asleep because everything is so perfect?

So, because of that, we're sleeping on 2 different levels of the house. He's in the marital bed (how old fashioned does that sound?) and I'm in the basement, like a dog. Actually, I'm in the more comfortable bed in the bedroom that doesn't have any windows. We call it the cave. And I do sleep a lot better, as does he. He for obvious reasons. Me because I don't feel guilty over keeping him awake AND because I'm now eating a bowl of Tums before bed (except I forgot to last night). It's working out really well.

Now we just need to work out a conjugal visit schedule. (did I really just type that and not delete it?)

Get me outta here!

That's what I think Pat is saying, if Pat could talk. There's a lot of activity "down there" and I think the way I described it to my sister was probably best. It's like a prisoner trying to dig his way out of his cell with a spoon. There's a desperation to the activity, at least, that's how it feels. There's a constant fluttering of activity as Pat's hands are poking and prodding and tinkering (just a couple of minutes ago I swore Pat was knitting a scarf in there). So I had a chat with Pat this morning while we were lying in bed. I informed dear Pat that I'm not ready for my life to change just yet and the nursery isn't 100% done, although it's probably 85% there, so Pat cannot come anytime before Christmas. We'll see if Pat listened because s/he has been kicking and shifting around a lot all morning. Pat is such a tease.

Hey, has anyone else tried to put lights on a Christmas tree while being 9 months pregnant? I've come up with a word to describe it: FRUSTERTAINING because it's a little entertaining and a whole bunch frustrating.

My brush with fame

My friend Juli works in the film industry in Toronto and has brushes with fame all the time. As does my friend Kirsten who lives in Park City, UT and frequently finds herself dining beside the likes of Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick. Living in Salt Lake City, I don't have too many star sightings, well, except during the Sundance Film Festival. Whenever I do see or meet a star, I kind of lose all composure and probably look like an insane person. Although I do feel like I held it together pretty well when I met the hottest man in the world (aside from Christian), David Beckham. But last night I went back to my old ways and probably scared this "star."

The person I'm referring to is Heather B. Armstrong, a name many of you will not recognize. But if you are a loyal reader of dooce.com, her daily blog, you will immediately know who I'm talking about. She lives here in good ol' SLC and my friend Marci informed me yesterday that she was doing a book signing at a book shop not too far away. I hadn't read Dooce's blog yesterday or the day before so I didn't know, but when Marci told me, I thought I should go and meet her. I should include a disclaimer for some of you. If you live in the Bible Belt or are very sensitive to naughty words and discussions about things a lot of people consider private, then don't check out her blog. But if you are like me and think there is no subject that is off-limits for discussing, then check it out. Anyway, back to meeting Dooce.

Christian came into the store with me but it was so crowded he immediately left and waited in the car. So I stood in line by myself and kept peeking around people to see her. She kept looking up and smiling at me, but it was more of an "okay, I can spot a weirdo in a crowd and apparently I've got one coming up any minute now" smile, like she sort of feared for her life. I think I had the stalker look to me. When it was my turn, she politely asked me when I'm due and we had a lovely chat about Pat and Pat's due date and the consumption of alcohol during pregnancy. She told me her thoughts on it and made me promise I wouldn't publish them so I can't, but let's just say I had a glass of wine after talking with her last night. She's really funny in person, just like how she writes. And she'd been drinking a lot of wine so her southern accent kept coming out. And her eyes were REALLY dilated, so not sure if she was on anything else, but regardless, she was really friendly and I sort of have a girl crush on her now.

Here she is writing in my friend Marci's copy of one of her books (oh, I failed to mention above she's written a couple of books).

And here we are. Best Friends Forever! She's really tall. So is her husband. Their daughters are going to be HUGE! It kind of looks like she's cupping my huge boobs, doesn't it?

So I try to get people to do the Charlie's Angels pose with me whenever possible and I actually got her to do it. Her husband got some of us doing it too so maybe I'll make an appearance on her website, or book cover, or calendar. A girl can dream. 

And here's what she wrote in the book I had her sign. "Ya'll are gonna have fun!". So very true.

Week 36! The girls in my mothers group told me this morning that I'm going to get bigger in the next 4 weeks. I really hadn't planned for that. No really, I hadn't. I thought this was the biggest I was going to get.  But hey, the bigger my stomach gets the smaller my butt looks (at least to Christian and me).

Here's one dead on. Didn't feel like including my goofy face.

And finally, a shot of one of the pins my friend Beckie gave me at the shower. REFRESHING NEW BABY SMELL. Can't wait!

Our little Crenshaw melon (a what?)

"Your baby is gaining about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy hair that covered her body, as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Next week, your baby will be considered full-term. Most likely she's in a head-down position, but if she isn't, your practitioner may suggest scheduling an external cephalic version, where she'll try to turn your baby by manipulating her from the outside of your belly."

This is what Baby Center sent me this morning for my weekly update. I don't know what a crenshaw melon is but I don't think I'd like it as I'm not a big melon fan (melon is a waste of time for me). I was a little disappointed to learn that Pat is shedding it's waxy and furry covering because I do prefer my babies all waxy and hairy. A sticky primate comes to mind.

Fortunately for Pat and me, Pat assumed head-down position several weeks ago, so unless Pat changes his/her mind, no external cephalic version will be necessary, which is good because I hear that is a VERY painful procedure for most women.

I was supposed to have my 36 week appointment this morning but the nurse called to say my mid-wife was delivering a baby this morning and had to reschedule for tomorrow morning, provided the baby comes within 24 hours. I hope for that mother-to-be the baby comes before then.

I still have a lot of energy right now. I keep waiting for the exhaustion to hit but so far so good. I actually have more energy right now than at any point in the pregnancy. So I'm taking advantage of it and getting loads of stuff done. I won't bore you with my to-do list for today but I think I'll be oot and aboot for most of the day.

Well, 28 days (give or take a few) to go until we meet the popular and charming Pat. 36 week photo posting tomorrow.

Who do you know quit her job today?

I've accepted a new position that will work better with my schedule. The pay isn't great and I have to work 7 days a week, but I think being a housewife (for the next 4 weeks) and then a mother will be more rewarding than the job I just quit today.

Truth be told, my job sucked. As I've mentioned before, it's 100% commission and selling advertising at a university in this economy is a foolish and frustrating endeavor. Yesterday I was at work looking at my quotas for this month and the next 4 months and realized there was absolutely no way I could even come close to getting 1/2 of my quota. And then I figured out how much my take home pay would be with said performance. Peanuts! So I talked to a couple of friends last night and then talked to Christian while we (okay, he) assembled the bookcase and even before I had the entire sentence out of my mouth, he said "Quit and do it tomorrow", so that's what I did. We both figured that the energy I would expend and the stress I would accumulate over the next 4 weeks wouldn't be worth the small paycheck, so I informed my boss around 9:30 this morning that I was"done" and I left a few hours later after I sent some e-mails and emptied out my cubicle. Didn't burn any bridges and left on a high note. And can I tell you how AMAZING I feel? This heavy burden that has been resting on my shoulders for so long is gone. I can tell Pat is excited because he/she has not stopped moving at all today. And I'm not exaggerating.

So now I can spend the next 4 weeks nesting 24 hours/day, not just between the hours of 5:00 pm and 10:00 pm. And Christian is excited because I have promised to do his laundry now...well, at least until Pat's birth (for those of you that don't know, I have never done Christian's laundry in the 6.5 years we've been married. Some of you shake your head and frown upon this arrangement whilst others can't believe I've been so lucky).

We're both a little nervous about the lost income, but again, it was going to be peanuts anyway. I think we'll be able to trim some fat off our monthly spending since we won't be going to our place in the Hamptons every weekend and I won't be driving the Hummer around all over town. And I'm so very much looking forward to enjoying the next 4 weeks and then being a new mom, and not having to worry about a missed quota and possible termination.

So, if you need me for anything except manual labour, let me know. I've got some time on my hands right now.

Why I am so very thankful

Yes, this post is a few days late but as they say, better late than never. Can I get an amen?

One year ago right about now, I can remember attending a Grateful Tea at my church. The Grateful Tea is an annual event where the women get together for fancy sandwiches, scones, etc and we share what we are most thankful for. Every year I cry while listening to what people are thankful for. One year a girl shared how she was thankful for ovarian cancer (at the age of 19) because of what it taught her about God, herself, friendships, and life in general. I think I actually sobbed while listening to her.

Last year I was in the beginning of my dark blue days and was having a hard time finding anything to be thankful for. I was racking my brain trying to find one thing I was grateful for, that's how sad I was. I listened as some women expressed gratitude for the new life growing inside of them or the children they already had, and that was really hard for me to listen to. In fact, I wanted to get up and leave it was so hard. What a difference a year makes. Now I am 4 weeks away from my own little miracle and I couldn't be more thankful. I recognize there are some friends that will probably read this that are struggling with infertility and I just want to encourage you to not give up hope, even though it probably feels like that is a whole lot easier than anything else right now. And really try to focus on all the things you have to be thankful for, because it's so easy to get so caught up in your struggle with not being able to get pregnant and to lose sight of all the good that surrounds you. Trust me, I know.

And so I'm thankful that God heard my desperate cries (and pleading, demanding, and threats) and He has blessed me with "Pat", whom I can't wait to meet.

And I'm thankful for this guy, who worked on his new closet all day Saturday and didn't stop til he finished it (and it looks great!!). What an amazing husband I have been blessed with.

And I'm oh so thankful for this group of people: a sister and cousin who flew 3500 miles to surprise me at Pat's shower; 2 of the best friends a girl could ever hope for who planned one of the best days of my life; and the support staff made up of Christian and Greg.  

And if I had a picture of every family member and friend who encourages me, challenges me, entertains me, prays for me, listens to me, and loves me for ALL my flaws, I would include photos of all of you.

I am truly blessed and truly grateful.

I think the Unibomber has taken up residence within me

You know how busy Pat is, ALL THE TIME?! Well, I'm pretty much convinced Pat is the next Unibomber. I'm not trying to label my child or that whole self-prophecy nonsense, but I'm pretty sure this baby is up to no good in there. It is always wide awake at 11:00 pm, 4:00 am, and 7:00 am (because those are the times Pat wakes me up) and it's tinkering around so much that surely it's building a bomb or two. And when I say tinkering, I mean TINKERING! Aren't babies supposed to be running out of room at this point in the pregnancy and not moving much? Cause this one is just as busy as ever.  

Pat was lazy yesterday, so lazy in fact that I was concerned. It didn't wake me up at 7:00 as per usual and I couldn't get it to move at all throughout the morning. I tried drinking a glass of ice cold grapefruit juice and laying (or is it lying?) on my side. Nothing. Then I tried hot tea. Nothing. I even slapped my belly a couple of times (very gently of course). Around 10:30 I felt hiccups and knew we were going to be alright. Then I took Pat for an hour and a half walk, during which time Pat slept. Hardly any movements for most of the day but Pat was back to it's hijinks last night, all through the night, and this morning. So we're a-okay at Team Hancock. As I type this, I can feel Pat putting the finishing touches on the bomb.

Had a lovely Thanksgiving dinner at our friends Greg & Tara's. The food was so very good but I didn't have much room for anything. A real shame. But I did spend the day thinking of all the things I'm so very thankful for. I think that will have to be another post all together.

Yesterday I took advantage of my day off to get a lot of errands done. I'm trying to find a bookshelf and night stand for the nursery and spent a good portion of the day visiting furniture and antique stores. Found nothing. Then Christian mentioned last night that he could use supplies from work to build a bookshelf using wine racking and it would cost far less than anything we could find. So there's another project added to the list (I think I'll still keep my eyes open for something though). Today he is working on his new closet in the spare bedroom. Since we live in a 70+ year old home, the closets are tiny and all of my clothes are in our bedroom closet. Christian's have been in the office, which is now Pat's room, and Pat's going to need the closet for all it's Juicy Couture, Ed Hardy, and Dolce & Gabbana attire. I'm doing 5 loads of laundry, all for Pat. Does one really need over 20 receiving blankets? Because that's how many I have. And I haven't counted the wash cloths but there's at least 25 of them. It will feel so good once everything is washed and put away, but I have a feeling Pat's closet might not be ready for a couple of weeks. That just means I can't post any nursery photos until everything is done.

What else? Oh, we stayed at a Bed & Breakfast last night. A friend very kindly gave us a gift certificate and we were going to give it to my parents to use when they come down for Pat's arrival but only my Mom is coming now so we decided to use the gift certificate for ourselves. Had a lovely dinner at a little family-owned Italian restaurant downtown and then headed up to check-in. One final escape before all hell breaks loose and our lives are forever changed.

Shower pictures coming soon. In the meantime I need to get back to laundry and writing thank yous (I have given myself a deadline of tomorrow night to get all 40 done). 4.5 weeks and counting!

Are you trying to tell me something?

I felt people looking at me a little funny as I strolled up and down the aisles looking for a bottle of wine for Christian and our friends to drink tomorrow during our Thanksgiving feast. I'm sure everyone thought it was for me and my baby.

And then the woman put my wine in this bag.

I will not be going back to the wine store until after Pat is born.

I am overwhelmed-Part 2

As I was driving to my mid-wife appointment last week, I realized that I am in a unique situation. You see, most women have either Christmas (and all that is involved with this holiday, from shopping to baking to everything in between) or a baby to worry about. They usually don't have both at the same time. 

Some women are able to plan out their pregnancy timing so the birth doesn't occur at the busiest time of the year. Other's, like me, are not so fortunate. Side note: When we first started trying, I can't believe I thought it would take only one time and I actually thought we would have the baby in July when nothing is going on and everything would be happy-clappy. I mean, that's how it worked for a lot of friends and family members. So funny that over a hundred attempts later we're having our baby at Christmas. 

Anyway, driving to mid-wife appointment, overwhelmed at all there is to do with both events. As I was sharing this with my mid-wife, I brought up how I don't know how I'm going to be able to get my Christmas cards out this year. And then the planets aligned and the entire reason why I chose this mid-wife occurred: she said "why bother doing Christmas cards when you'll be sending out birth announcements a few weeks later and you can wish everyone a merry Christmas then?" BOINK! How come this didn't occur to me? She's absolutely right! So no Christmas cards this year. No cookie exchange either, and maybe my family will get Christmas gifts before Christmas this year and maybe not. I'm not going to stress it. I've decided I need to be ready for Pat and that's where I'm putting my focus. We'll put up a tree and decorate the house, drink some eggnog while I bake A FEW Christmas cookies, but only after I get most of my to-do list for Pat done.

And I can honestly say that epiphany that my mid-wife shared with me was the most refreshing thing to happen to me in so long. That and the fact that I actually slept for 8 hours the other night for the first time since the beginning of August. I'm feeling great and am looking forward to what the next 5+ weeks bring.

So if you're expecting another Christmas card like 2 years ago when we dressed up like elves, think again. We'd still love to receive Christmas cards from our friends and family, just don't expect anything in your mailbox until late January from the Hancocks. 

Feeling far less overwhelmed than I did 4 days ago.

My husband has ovaries

First of all, I asked C if it was alright that I published this (and the accompanying title) and he said it was okay, so don't think I'm the WORST wife ever for writing this.

My husband is not only the funniest person I know, he's also very sensitive and very caring and has been an amazing support, not just since we found out about Pat, but ever since I met him. He's a superstar and most days I do not feel like I deserve him. I often wonder how someone as insensitive as me ended up with someone as sensitive as him. I also wonder where his sensitivity came from. Maybe the fact that he is sandwiched between 2 girls (an older sister and a younger sister). All that estrogen must have had it's effect on him, because the other night, as we climbed into bed, Christian said to me "I feel like I really need to nest."

And THAT'S why I think my husband has ovaries. I didn't even know he knew the term "nesting." I don't think I've used that term at all with him because I didn't feel like having to explain it to him. But I guess I'm wrong about that. Apparently he already knows! He did ask me not to schedule any extra-curricular activities--I guess he wants to stay home and nest. So if you need us for anything, we'll be at home building a nest, or something like that.

Note to self: Don't watch "A Baby Story" on TLC. I'm watching it while writing this and I'm literally sobbing. I can hardly see the monitor because tears are pouring out of my eyes. Too emotional to watch a baby be born right now. What am I thinking?

In other Pat news, I had my 34 week appointment yesterday. Yes, 34 weeks. Very hard for me to believe. A lot of the time I feel like I'm ready for Pat to arrive but then I have moments where I start to panic as I look at my "to-do" list. But then I watch "A Baby Story" and I want the baby NOW! Anyway, I'm measuring at 34 weeks exactly, not more, not less, so all of you people telling me I'm huge and so big, I'm actually not. I'm at my correct gestational age and size. Had the nurse ask me "What did you eat today?" after she looked at my pee stick. I've been eating a lot of fruit lately...maybe too much, because my sugar levels were up. But someone keeps leaving fruit on my desk at work and I want them to know I appreciate it so I eat it, plus all of the other fruit I already bring for snacks and lunch. It's probably the reason why I'm up another 2 lbs since my last appointment. That or the fact that the baby is putting a lot of it's weight on right now. It's almost 5 lbs and about 18" now. Crazy. My midwife checked to see if I was dilated since she was already in there doing a strep test, and who do you know is dilated to a 3? Well, it's not me. Not dilated but my cervix is softening. So that's a good sign.

The mechanic just called and said the car was ready to be picked up, so I need to lace up my running shoes and walk down and get it. Glad it's a balmy 64 degrees today--perfect day for a walk.

Oh, and if you see Christian, be sure to ask him how his ovaries are doing. I'm sure he'd really like that.

So busy

Sorry, no time to write the last few days. My sister Heidi and cousin Amy surprised me for Pat's shower and the weekend was filled with lots of activities. Update coming soon. 

Tonight we're going to our childbirth class. I guess we're learning relaxation techniques tonight. I'd better bring my Yanni CD!!

Oh, we did finally buy a dresser/changing table last night. Phew! That makes my stress level go down 50 points right there. Hopefully we can get a lot more "to-do's" crossed off the old list this weekend and I will be able to post nursery photos soon. One can hope.

Our little pineapple

Every Thursday I receive an e-mail from babycenter.com giving me an update on the size of the baby and other things particular to where I'm at in the pregnancy for that week. Most of the comparisons are to fruit or vegetables so it's always entertaining to see what the comparison will be each week. Today's update said Pat is now 4 lbs, roughly the weight of a pineapple, and 17" long. I'm glad Pat isn't shaped like a pineapple or rough on the outside like one because that would not be a pleasant experience delivering that. 

In other Pat related news, the nursery is coming along quite nicely. The crib is up! Yay! There are still at least 20 other things we need to do still but at least the crib is up. That was my big goal for the room even though the little pineapple will sleep in a bassinet in our room for the first weeks. By the way, if you're expecting or planning on becoming pregnant at some point, you should know that cribs do not come with mattresses. I did not know that until Christian assembled it. Now we need to go out and get one and believe me, it's not that simple of a process as you have to have THE right mattress for your crib. In my initial reconnaissance work, I've discovered that mattress sizes are not standardized. Oh, and it needs to be firm and the cheaper mattresses sag in the middle after awhile (according to reports I've read online). It's not that big of a deal, going out and getting a mattress, I'm just saying I wasn't expecting it. But we'll add that to the to do list and I'm sure we'll get it prior to December 31st, Pat's due date.

Now I'm craving pineapple. Is that weird?

I literally threw up in my mouth a little bit

Why, you might ask? Because at our childbirth class tonight we watched THE birth video, which I somehow managed to never see in sex ed class in elementary or highschool. When I saw the placenta come out I:

1. Threw up a little in my mouth (I have some nasty heartburn right now so it was most likely due to that)

2. Said out loud "What is that thing?! That is absolutely disgusting!", which I didn't realize I'd said out loud until the people around me started to laugh.

Again, good thing there are no patchouli-wearing, armpit-hair growing hippies in our class because they probably would have thrown their Birkenstocks at me in disgust over my disgust of the placenta.

And now, for my almost 33 week photo op. You can see for yourself why my friend's mother-in-law told me I was huge. See it for yourself.

I think if my boobs were bigger, maybe they'd make my stomach look smaller. Not sure on that theory. Maybe my stomach is really just that big!

"You're huge!!!"

That's what my friend's mother-in-law told me yesterday when she saw me. I'll post my 32 week shot tonight or tomorrow. We've (Christian) been busy on Pat's room and you know how time flies when you're having fun!

While we've been busy with crown molding, painting, installing, etc, we did take time on Saturday night to watch a really good movie that I highly recommend. The Brothers Bloom. Watch it. I think the rating must be PG or something as there's no nudity, no eff words (at least I didn't hear any) and no or very little violence. But a clever and entertaining hour and 20 minutes or so. That's all I'll say about it. You can google it if you want more info. 

Meet Fred, my cankle

WARNING! ACHTUNG! BE YE WARNED! The image you will see is quite disturbing and may cause sudden vomiting, blacking out, general disgust, or might mean you won't be able to look me in the eye ever again.

Meet Fred (as in Flintstone), my foot and ankle that has morphed into something non-human. You can see why my co-worker shrieked in horror a couple of weeks ago. I must admit, it's pretty grotesque. But I really don't know what to do about it. I elevate it whenever I can, I drink a minimum of 10 glasses of water a day (everyone says to drink more water to flush out the swelling), and I massage it. Maybe I need to perform an exorcism on it. Oh well, just one more thing to ask the mid-wife about later today.

By the way, I'm just glad it's not the summer right now. I have a feeling Fred would be even larger!

Where have all the hippies gone?

When I signed Christian and myself up for a natural childbirth class, I honestly thought we'd be the only non-Patchouli wearing, armpit shaving, meat-eating people in the class. Last night was our first class and boy was I wrong! Everyone in class was just like us--WASPS (or WASMS, the M replacing the P due to the Mormon factor). I could tell Christian hated every minute of class and I'm really surprised he hasn't asked me if he has to go to another class. I think he might just realize that I would literally tear his face off if he asks such a question. But I know he wants to bail out.

So we learned all about proper diet and exercise during pregnancy (did you know a pregnant woman should consume a minimum of 6 servings of whole grains per day? how is that possible? I probably consume 3/day since I am a protein girl, not a carb girl), basic anatomy, how much weight gain is appropriate, what the weight gain is comprised of (baby, placenta, boobs, blood, fluid, etc) and other stuff I already know SIDE NOTE: I didn't know that I can't take my pre-natal with my calcium supplement because the calcium cancels out the iron in the pre-natal. Oops! Anyway, why are we learning these things we already know about? Oh, maybe because everyone else in the class is barely pregnant. I didn't know you were supposed to take this class earlier in your pregnancy. Here I am 8 weeks out from delivering while everyone else is at 18 weeks into their pregnancies. We're in class with a bunch of eager beavers! One girl isn't due until May! MAY!?! She's going to forget everything she's learned and have to re-take the class.

We finished up class with a relaxation method similar to the cat & cow position in yoga. Then I had to lie on my side while Christian moved my pelvis around. Not my favourite position or feeling. I don't think we'll practice at home. I don't think my body has produced enough relaxin hormone to open up my pelvis yet cause I swear I heard my pelvis creaking.

So, the big question is why. Why are we taking a natural childbirth class? While we're not getting a doula or birthing coach, nor are we learning the Bradley method or hypno birthing (which I think is a crock), I would like to attempt an epidural-free birth. Do I think I can do it? No (sorry all you that have told me that you think I can). But what I want to do is hold off on getting the epidural for as long as I possibly can. I don't want to be one of those women that get to the hospital and immediately get drugged up. I'm not judging you if that's what you did, I just don't want that for myself. And who knows, maybe I'll make it through without the epidural and maybe just a little cocaine, I mean, whatever it is they give you to take the edge off (haven't learned about that one yet...that might be taught at next week's class). So judge away. I'm really okay with people being upset with me for not thinking I can do it. But there's always next time, right?

Tomorrow marks month 8. I'll have my 32 week photo up for your viewing pleasure, although you already saw plenty of it in my Playboy bunny costume.

My fetus: The perfect Halloween prop

Who knew that baring your pregnant belly would be such a hit at a Halloween party? But it was. For the third year in a row, we took home best couple costume for our take on Hugh Hefner and a Playboy Bunny, Misty, that had fallen on hard times (a.k.a. knocked up). We really didn't think we had a shot this year since we thought our costumes were lame, but I guess other people didn't think so. Hey, we'll take it! There were a lot of strangers at the party and they all wanted to know about Pat, like what Pat is, when Pat's arriving, you know, the usual questions. Pat is definitely a conversation starter with strangers. I guess baring my enormous stomach also helped. And for the second year in a row, I was coerced into singing Madonna's "Like a virgin" and even got down on the floor again and crawled towards the crowd. Christian said he heard someone say "Oh no, she's not getting down...oh no...no she isn't...YES SHE IS!" Of course I did. I'm not going to let the fact that I'm 7 months pregnant get in the way of my act. Although almost wetting my pants was different than last year.

Hugh & Misty.

 

MJ resurrected.

 

My favourite costume of the night--A One Night Stand. There was even a clock radio on the night stand.

 

Mrs. Doubtfire & Hugh.

Just like Madonna!

 

Phil & Beckie after Beckie's first golf lesson.

What a strange collection of people: Misty, Michael Jackson, Wonder Woman, A Jill-O-Lantern, and Paula Dean!

I've got nothing for this one.

A likely couple: Rodeo Queen & Sid Vicious.

This is definitely going in Pat's baby book. This is what happens when you steal someone's camera at a party and take a lot of self-portraits.

Then yesterday we were roped into hosting a "trunk" at our church's Fall Fest/Trunk-or-Treat. We didn't think Hugh & Misty were appropriate for little ones so we went as Ken and Barbie, our favourite costume from a couple of years ago. I had a great time interacting with the kids. Some kids even asked to have their photos taken with us (I'm sure if we'd gone as Hugh & Misty some adults would have wanted their photos taken with us). I hope we weren't too creepy looking in the photos. The highlight of the morning was getting to start a fire engine and make the siren go off (they use their feet to do that...I guess that's safer than taking their hands off the steering wheel). Thanks to the Oracle for letting me have my few minutes of fun.

Firefighter/Maternity Barbie.

There's my hero!

And today we had a very productive day of finishing painting trim, doors and a bookshelf, buying blackout blinds for Pat's room, caulking baseboards, buying curtain rods, tidying our disaster of a house, laundry, groceries, making a vat of spaghetti sauce, and getting some other errands done. The husband wants me to clarify that when I say "we", I mean "he" for most of the productivity (but I will claim the spaghetti sauce).

It's a GIRL!!! (take two)

Well, I had my first gender specific dream last night and in it, I gave birth to a girl. And then the next day, my stomach being as flat as it was pre-Pat, my co-worker and I flew to Texas to watch a football game. And then the phone rang and woke me up, so that's all I've got.

I haven't had time to post anything this week as work has been ridiculously busy (in a good and productive way) and I've had a lot of social commitments, chiropractor appointments, and Pat-related errands to get done. More posting this weekend, especially after the Halloween party tonight! For those of you that look forward to our costumes every year, don't get your hopes up too high this year. We'll blame our lame idea on the down turned economy.

Dilated or not dilated, that is the question

Well, I might be or I might not be, but I probably am not. At my 30 week appointment with my mid-wife on Thursday, I explained to her the "feeling" I had that was causing me to think I was in fact dilated. She explained some of the other symptoms of dilation and after asking me if I had any of them, which I don't, we both came to the conclusion that I'm probably not dilated. She offered to check for me but I didn't feel like taking off my pants, so I said no. After she did the usual measurements on my abdomen and felt around to see where Pat was hanging out these days, she determined that since Pat is head down and using my cervix as a pillow, that's probably why I felt like I was dilated. The pressure. So, I was wrong. All of you naysayers were right. Congratulations!

I also asked her if she thought it was possible that Pat had epilepsy since it's movement is so weird. I think she was trying to keep from laughing because she didn't answer for a few seconds. She said "while there's always that possibility, it's highly doubtful that Pat has epilepsy" and went on to explain how Pat's nervous system is still developing and it's probably misfiring or something along those lines. So no tests ordered to determine if my fetus has the epilepsy. That got me thinking about all the funny things new mothers-to-be (or maybe women that are on their second or third or more) must ask their doctors and mid-wives.

I got the H1N1 and seasonal flu vaccines on Friday because I DON'T WANT TO DIE. All you government conspirators/anti-vaccine weirdos can go on and judge me if you want but I don't care. Other than 2 sore arms, I'm feeling good. Although I am craving bacon wrapped pork chops stuffed with ham a lot...

Christian has spent the good part of this weekend painting Pat's pad. The colour that I picked out (with my designer friend's help) is brighter than I had planned or hoped for but he's refusing to paint it a lighter colour, so I guess we're going with it. I'm sure it will grow on me. And maybe once we have the hot tub and dance floor in there, it will look a little better. Our friends have really been on our backs (in a good way) about getting the nursery done because "you never know" and so getting it painted is a good start. Hopefully by next weekend we'll have the crib assembled and the glider moved in and the dresser/change table painted and in place. Okay, after typing all those things I'm having my doubts about getting them all accomplished, but if we can get one of them done, then that's great, right? So once we have the room pulled together, you'll be the first to see the before and after shots.

Last update. I was meeting Christian at the U of U football game yesterday and was running to catch the train and I had to stop because I thought my uterus was about to fall out. I guess running is out of the question now. And I had that 1/2 marathon at the end of the month I was getting ready for...

Back, crack, and sack

Now before you think I'm referring to manscaping, you need to get your mind out of the gutter. Good grief! This is a PG blog. You're unbelievable.

I am talking about my recent God-send--my chiropractor. I've never been to one in my life until 2 days ago. I've always been wary of them for a couple of reasons: 1. I was convinced they would slip up and turn me into a parapalegic (I know...silly, but I really did think that would happen) and 2: Once you go one time, you have to go all the time. But I went at the suggestion of my friend as well as the urging of my mid-wife. I guess they can help open up your pelvis and get that area ready for a baby to slide out. AND, I haven't been sleeping and I thought it could help.

Well, he did all of these tests and things on me short of doing an x-ray and discovered that my spine is seriously out of whack. One shoulder is lower than the other and my head is dropped to one side. And so he went to work on me. He's using this gun thing to gently tap my vertebrae back into place. And I've got to say, I slept better on Monday night than I have in 8 weeks! I'm a believer. Yeah, I had to go back today and I have to go back tomorrow (cha-ching) but I think it's going to be worth it in getting Pat out a little easier and getting Pat's mom sleeping again until Pat's arrival. And I realized that the reason you have to keep going is they can't fix you in one appointment. Especially a 7 month pregnant woman.

So, now that I've had my back cracked, I'm going to hit the sack and hopefully get some sleep.

Oh, one last thing that I want written down for the world to see JUST IN CASE I'M RIGHT. For the last week, I've been feeling like I'm dilated. Please don't ask me why I think this--I just do. So at my 30 week appointment with my mid-wife tomorrow, I'm going to see if she'll check. If I'm wrong, all of you people who have been judging me since I told you can say "I told you so" and I'll take it like the humble person I would like to be.

Oh, one more thing. A big shout out to my favourite 8 year old, my nephew Ben, who turned 8 today.

He's in the witness protection program so I can't show you a photo of him without his disguise. Happy Birthday "Ben!!!"

A pregnancy first

Well, I did what I've been wanting to do for a LONG time. I parked in the "Expectant Mothers" parking spot in front of Babies R Us! And I stuck my belly out and put my hand on my lower back just for added effect as I waddled into the store. It felt glorious!! Now I need to seek out more of those parking spots--Babies R Us is the only store I'm aware of that has the special parking in SLC. If you know of more, let me know!

The other white meat flu

I've never bothered with flu vaccines before. I really don't get sick very often and probably average one sick day per year. So when the swine flu hit, I thought nothing more about it and decided I wouldn't get the vaccine. Well, that was before a pregnant friend told me that women in their 3rd trimester had one of the highest risks of death due to the good ol' swine flu. Suddenly the swine flu became really personal.

Someone I know was diagnosed with it in her 3rd trimester and she told me repeatedly how awful of an experience it was and that I needed to get the vaccine. Friends and family members have all been telling me to get vaccinated, my midwife told me I needed to get the shot (even though her clinic didn't order any of the vaccine in, which seems REALLY stupid to me since they only work with pregnant women), and our doctor friends have been telling me I need to get it. So I've been on the hunt for the vaccination in Salt Lake City and surrounding area for the past 2 weeks. I even called a clinic in a different county this morning after speaking with a client who had a friend die from the H1N1 flu this morning (he was a 24 year old healthy guy). Pregnant women can't have the mist and unfortunately they are only giving the shot to 6 month-27 month old babies right now. Every clinic I talked to said they won't be vaccinating pregnant women until mid-November. I'm trying not to get freaked out. 

I am taking precautions, like washing my hands a little obsessively (and singing the Happy Birthday song TWICE just to make sure I'm washing them long enough) and dousing my hands in hand sanitizer after I shake someone's hand, which is a lot when you're meeting with clients face to face. And I'm trying not to touch my eyes or put my hands anywhere in the general vicinity of my face without washing them first or using some sort of barrier method (ie: Kleenex).

So, if anyone in SLC is reading this and knows of a way I can get my hands on the vaccine (even on the black market), let me know. I'll pay top dollar! (or maybe just bake you a cake) Gotta run--Pat's using my bladder as a punching bag!

WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING: A CHECKLIST

First of all, don't judge me because I have that book. It was a gift from a favourite friend and it's actually been useful. Like when I think I'm the only person in the history of the world who's experienced this or that, I turn to the book and it says I'm normal. (despite the fact that most of you would agree I'm not really normal).

Last night I turned to the chapter called "The Seventh Month; Approximately 28 to 31 weeks" as that is where I'm at. 7 months. That means I only have 2 to go, which scares the crap out of me, but I digress. After it talks about how big the baby is during the 7th month and the changes little Pat is going through, it has a section called What You May Be Feeling. It's pretty spot on with what I'm experiencing and I thought I'd share it with you, not to gain sympathy, because let's not forget that I got myself into this, but to create awareness for those of you who might not have experienced this yet (or don't plan on ever experiencing it and just want a reminder of how wise of a decision that might be).

• Stronger and more frequent fetal activity. CHECK!! Pat is continuing it's Grand Mal seizure-like movement. Very herky jerky (kind of like how I dance).
  
• Increasing vaginal discharge. I reserve the right to not comment on this. This blog is supposed to be a discharge-free zone.
  
• Achiness in the lower abdomen or along the sides. CHECK.
  
• Constipation. CHECK!!
  
• Heartburn, indigestion, flatulence, bloating. CHECK, CHECK, CHECK, not yet. Tums has become my new best friend. Beano has stopped working on me. Sorry co-workers!
  
• Occasional headaches, faintness, or dizziness. CHECK.
  
• Nasal congestion and occasional nosebleeds; ear stuffiness. CHECK. I've still never experienced a nose bleed in my life but I do have bloody boogers almost every morning.
  
• Sensitive gums that may bleed when you brush. Nope, not yet. Can't wait! Ummmm, blood.
  
• Leg cramps. CHECK.
  
• Backache. CHECK.
  
• Mild swelling of ankles and feet, and occasionally of hands and face. BIG CHECK on the ankles and feet. From mid-calf down I don't look human. I did tell you how my co-worker shrieked at the sight of my cankle.
  
• Varicose veins of the legs. Not yet.
  
• Hemorrhoids. Have I told you about Harvey the Hemorrhoid yet? Maybe that will be a whole blog by itself.
  
• Itchy abdomen. I have one of those hand back-scratchers that I use. Feels. So. Good. To. Scratch.
  
• Protruding navel. Not yet but it's on it's way. I'm considering putting a band aid on it when it does start to stick out because I just don't like that look on anyone.
  
• Stretch marks. Nope. I have a friend that got them 2 days before she gave birth, so I'm not ruling them out just yet.
  
• Shortness of breath. CHECK. I can't walk and talk at the same time anymore. But hey, I did just save 15% on my car insurance.
  
• Difficulty sleeping. CHECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
• Scattered Braxton Hicks contractions, usually painless (the uterus hardens for a minute, then returns to normal). CHECK. Contractions are fun! Don't let anyone tell you differently.
  
• Clumsiness. E. V. Uh. Oh. http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a01156f8a402e970c0120a5cc3e97970b
  
• Enlarged Breasts. I wish. (and so does my husband)
  
• Colostrum leaking from nipples. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Not yet, thank you Jesus.

So, there you have it. What you can expect when you're expecting at the 7 month mark. Don't say I didn't warn you.

"We have a meltdown in Aisle 5"

Who knew that not finding ground turkey breast at the grocery store would lead to me breaking down in the middle of the store?

I was planning on making spaghetti for dinner and thought I would get the meat first, since ground turkey breast is very hard to come by. And no, ground turkey will not do. It has to be the breast. The texture of ground turkey is too similar to ground beef, which induces bile when I see it, smell it, and am forced to eat it out of politeness.

Of course they didn't have any turkey breast. Why should they have it for a 7 months pregnant woman who no longer sleeps more than 3 hours per night, is uncomfortable ALL day, who has a headache, who is sucking HUGE at her job and is miserable between the hours of 9:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m., who's foot and ankle are so swollen her co-worker shrieked and said he had never seen anything more hideous in his life when she put it up on his desk to show him just how enormous it was, and who wets her pants more than I bet that Duggar woman who's had 18 kids (and counting).

So we're having toast for dinner tonight.

Our last hurrah

Some people go to Hawaii or Mexico for their last trip before the baby arrives. Not the Hancocks. We went to Philadelphia, PA!

Our good friends, Ben & Steph, are there for Ben's Fellowship of the Ring. He's an Orthopedic Surgeon doing a fellowship in shoulder and elbow at UPenn and they're only there for 1 year, and since we'll be with Pat next year, we figured this was the best time to go. And we were right. We had great fall weather for the most part. I'm still not too large and in charge that I was able to walk around downtown and see all of the historical sites. My feet and ankles did swell up considerably so a couple of naps were just what the doctor ordered on Saturday and Sunday afternoon. We ate great Italian (pronounced Eye-talian) food, I had my first and probably last Philly Cheesesteak, and we saw the birthplace of the Declaration of Independence, which I really didn't know too much about before the trip, being a Canuck and all.

I really can't believe it was the last flight I'll ever take without having to worry about children (whether they're with me or I've ditched them at home).  It's all kind of surreal. I've been having these "this is the last time I'll do blank" moments lately and I'm sort of starting to panic a little. I'm sure that's normal.

Well, I need to go put my foot up. The 5 hour flight wasn't too kind to my circulatory-challenged club foot (it's been swollen since I was 18 years old) and I'm having a hard time fitting it in anything but a paper bag right now. In the meantime, enjoy some Philadelphia Freedom photos.

 

My baby daddy getting down on a Philly wit provolone (silly Philadelphians drop the "h" and you have to say "wit" instead of "with").

The gang. I look a little deer-in-the-headlights and I wasn't even consuming booze. That's a virgin mojito in front of me and it's my new drink of choice for the next 2.5 months.

 

Ye olde Liberty Bell.

A couple of Revolutionary Douche Bags in Betsy Ross' (maker of the first US flag) humble abode. 

 

One of the oldest streets in the U.S. I bet there's an older street somewhere in Canada. The challenge is on!

 

Ben Franklin's grave. The first and last time I ever pay to go into a graveyard.