An important milestone

Okay, word of warning. If you do not appreciate toilet talk like I do, don't bother reading this one today. And don't say I didn't warn you.

There are many things I looked forward to when I found out I was pregnant with Cohen. His first smile, his first laugh, crawling, saying "Mama", saying "douche bag"...you get the idea. But another equally important milestone for me was being able to use him as an excuse when I tooted in public and didn't want anyone to know it was me.

And that day arrived today. It. Was. Glorious. And the person didn't know that babies that only drink breastmilk and formula don't have farts that smell like beefaroni.

I'm still smiling.

 

Have you ever used your baby as an excuse to pass gas?

And the winner is....

Remember when I threw out the challenge sometime in November about guessing Cohen's gender, date and time of arrival and weight? Well, I sort of never got around to seeing who came closest....until now!

The winner of bragging rights for an entire year and who we'll tell Cohen about ALL THE TIME is (drum roll please)...

April Van Wagenen

 

April guessed that Cohen would be a boy, arrive December 29th, be born at 12:30 p.m. and weigh 8 lbs 2 oz. She was only off the arrival date and time by 17.5 hours and the weight by 5 oz. I think those are really close guesses. Spookily close.

So congratulations to April, who also has the coolest daughters, Burgandy and Senja. Oh, and her husband is pretty neat-o too. He and I travelled all over the world together getting into all sorts of trouble way back when.

Music to my ears

One of my favourite sounds these days is Cohen babbling. It's almost non-stop and I absolutely love it. I really do think he'll take after his mother with the non-stop talking in a couple of years. And I hope he inherits his dad's storytelling ability. Hours of enterainment ahead.

My other favourite sound is my husband singing James Taylor's "Sweet baby James" to Cohen as he rocks him to sleep. Although he changes the lyrics to Sweet baby Gray which  makes it even better.

Ahhhhhhhh. Happy chills all over.

p.s. If you're not familiar with Christian's childhood stories of raising a bobcat as a pet or having a door for a dining room table, ask him sometime. It's quite amusing.

It just goes to show you...

...that when you set your mind to something, you can accomplish it.

For instance, I had a goal to finish the 1 kg chocolate bar my mom gave me the night before Cohen was born and I just finished the last bite tonight. It may have taken me 5 months to finish it, but I did it and I couldn't be more proud of myself.

I also just watched the last episode of Six Feet Under. That also took me 5 months to watch the entire 5 seasons of the HBO show, but I did it.

Now if only I could manage to get that linen closet of mine organized...check back with me in 5 months!

Want to ruin your marriage?

Have a baby.

Don't worry, we're not on the brink of the D word, but it's just been really tough lately. Add in the fact that all 3 of us are sick, no one is sleeping, we both work full-time and are trying to figure out who is responsible for what, and we sort of miss the freedom we used to have.

We don't do anything with just the two of us anymore. If we want to do something, one goes out and does it while the other one stays with Cohen. We just take turns doing the things we used to do together, like biking, grocery shopping, going to the dog races, sailing, and looking for buried treasure. Since he was born, we've only been out together one time. (Any family members wanting to move to Salt Lake City would be appreciated).

I just can't believe some people think that having a baby with someone will make things better for their relationship. They couldn't be further from the truth.

But don't worry about us. We'll get through this. It's just temporary, unlike that tattoo Cohen got.

Do you hate fish?

Then do I have the recipe that will change your opinion AND your life!

I think I've mentioned this before, but I'm part of the best book club ever. It's more of a dinner and social club than an actual book club. We always pick a book and 3 out of the 9 of us read the book and then we discuss it for 2-3 minutes when we get together once a month.

I look forward to my book club and wish I spent more time with these girls. And I always look forward to the food. I mean, these girls have mad skills in the kitchen. No tuna casserole for this group. Last week Marina, who is a lawyer and has the most beautiful 1 1/4 year old girl you've ever seen, made the following for dinner and I day dreamed of eating it again the minute I got home that night.

As part of our dinner group I made it on Saturday and took it over to dine with our friends. My one friend was incredibly leery about eating grouper. I don't think she knew what it was, just that it didn't sound appetizing. But my, my, my, did she ever clean her plate. I think she even licked it before putting it in the dishwasher. (Or was that me that did that?)

Without further ado...

Mustard Roasted Fish, by the Barefoot Contessa (of which I own 4 of her 6 cookbooks)

4 (8 oz) fish fillets such as red snapper (I used grouper, just like Marina)

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

8 oz creme fraiche

3 tbsp Dijon mustard

1 tbsp whole-grain mustard

2 tbsp minced shallots

2 tsp drained capers

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.

Line a sheet pan with parchment paper. (You can also use an ovenproof baking dish.) Place the fish fillets skin side down on the sheet pan. Sprinkle generously with salt and pepper.

Combine the creme fraiche, two mustards, shallots, capers, 1 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper in a small bowl. Spoon the sauce evenly over the fish fillets, making sure the fish is completely covered. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes, depending on the thickness of the fish, until it's barely done. (The fish will flake easily at the thickest part when it's done.) Be sure not to overcook it! Serve hot or at room temperature with the sauce from the pan spooned over the top.

Like Marina, I served this with roasted fingerling potatoes, asparagus, fennel and green beans. Just tossed them all with olive oil, kosher salt and pepper and roasted them at 425. I also served a salad of red pepper, avocado, cucumber and tomatoes tossed with some salad dressing I had in the fridge. Best meal I'd had in...well, since book club!

Next weekend I'm going to do something wild and crazy with beets!!

My baby has kennel cough

Or at least that's what we've told him.

His first week of daycare and he got a fever, a cough, and a stuffed up nose, and then the little disease bag passed it onto me. I have probably the worst sore throat of my existence and a really painful sinus area. My throat is so sore it woke me up in the middle of the night and I had to take some Advil for the pain. Left work early because I couldn't function. And then Christian came home complaining of nausea. I think he just felt left out (really, I do).

And so it begins. Life with a baby in daycare. Cohen's pediatrician said to expect 8-12 viruses a year. We can now put one under our belt. Oh well, it could be worse. Chicken pox, strep throat and scurvy were all going around his daycare last week. Next week: typhoid, the Plague, and rickets. Fingers crossed that polio won't hit anytime soon.

Consistently inconsistent

Ummmmm, are babies always this inconsistent? I thought by 4.5 months Cohen would be into some sort of routine. I mean, I try to create a routine for him but he doesn't seem to stick with the plan. His napping and night time waking are completely anyone's guess.

For instance, yesterday he took 3 very short 40 minute naps. Today, he's been asleep for almost 2 hours. Some nights he wakes up around midnight for a feeding, other nights he gives us a break and doesn't wake up until sometime between 3:00 and 4:00. When do they start being more consistent, or am I up in the night in more ways than one?

One thing is consistent, his cuteness. That little turd biscuit is just the cutest thing and our new schedule of me working and him being raised by Mama Phyllis is really working out for all of us. Christian said I've returned. The old Kristyn is back.

Now who wants to go do karaoke?

"Does this hat make me look gay? No? Maybe it's my raised pinky finger then?"

I have a fever and the only cure is that hat on Cohen.

Memories

I received an e-mail chain from a friend yesterday. I didn't know what it was about until I looked at the first one and read up toward the top. The end effect was me bawling.

You see, this friend of mine works at the reproductive center where Cohen was conceived, and our e-mail chain was about the blood test results I was waiting for to confirm that Cohen was in there. We kept writing back and forth that day about when the results would be in. The last e-mail was from me and it went something like this...

"I heard back from Jennilee. I'm "definitely pregnant." My HCG reading was 791 and I am 2 days shy of being 5 weeks. I'll be calling tomorrow to schedule an internal ultrasound with Dr. Jones (I guess she's in your office next week) next Friday."

It instantly took me back to the days leading up to finding out I was pregnant and then the days shortly afterward when we were awaiting confirmation, to the agonizing week of waiting for the internal ultrasound to make sure the baby was viable. Those 10 days were the best and also the scariest of my life to that point.

It brought everything back into perspective for me. It makes me so incredibly grateful for the blessing that Cohen is. I know I've written some honest entries lately about my struggles...okay, I've written A LOT of those entries, but seeing those e-mails just reminded me how truly blessed I am. I know that you must think I'm not grateful for the little ankle biter. But I am. And Cohen IS a great kid. Sure he fusses all the time, he throws up all over himself every day, and I have to get up and answer his booty call a couple times each night, but so what. I just need to suck it up and move past the negative. I wanted him for so long and I got him and I'm going to enjoy him. End of story.

The return of Rip Van Winkle

Guess who slept 5 hours at school today? That would be the baby that only slept for 1 hour yesterday. Guess he got used to the noise or else he used the baby ear plugs I put in his sack lunch.

His report card today said "Had a great day (smiley face). Nice long nap and loved playing in exersaucer." That's my boy.

I could not WAIT to leave work to pick him up. He was fussing again when I got there but started laughing when he heard my voice. Wow, that just makes my day. Going back to work was the best thing I could have done for our relationship. I appreciate him SO MUCH MORE now and actually look forward to his 4:00 a.m. booty call. Strange that I was working so hard to get rid of it.

And pumping at work when you wear a dress is a little awkward. I had my dress up around my neck and was sitting in my underwear and high heels, praying that I had locked my office door.

Fun with being a working/nursing mother.

First day of school

Well, that's where we're telling Cohen he's going...school. Not daycare. We want him to think he's smarter than he is and that at 4 months old, he's ready for school.

So I started my new job today. For those that don't know, I've accepted a great position at a non-profit agency called Head Start. They provide a leg-up for over 2000 under-privileged children in the community. I'm very excited to finally feel like I'm making a difference.

I've been trying to prepare myself for the moment when I dropped Cohen off with his new set of moms, but nothing can prepare you for it. I cried the entire drive to the daycare and then when I had to leave him with Phyllis. I felt a lot of sympathetic eyes on me as I walked back to the car. A lot of women have been there, some of them when their babies were only 6 weeks old (stupid Utah law).

But he survived like I knew he would. With a lot less sleep (a total of an hour versus his usual 3.5) and a messed up schedule, but he still survived. They said he'll get used to the noise and will be able to sleep through it eventually. Here's hoping. This is Cohen we're talking about.

Pumping at work was an adventure. I have to close all the blinds, lock the door, and huddle over a desk while I milk myself. I have to let everyone know the milking schedule so they don't interrupt. I might just put a picture of a cow on the door, although it's really not necessary. After I emerged from my office, someone walked by and said "Ah, the all too familiar sound of a breast pump in action!".

I couldn't wait to pick the little turd burglar up and I think my boss knew that as she let me go an hour early. I drove like a demon (okay, I drove as I usually do) and practically ran in the daycare. He was crying but as soon as he saw me, he stopped and started to smile, which made my heart melt and is making me cry as I type this. I grabbed his report card and we headed home for a much needed nap and some cuddling.

Many thanks for the e-mails, texts and messages today. You made my first day away from Cohen and back in the work force so much better due to your thoughtfulness. Now, how about bringing me some dinner?

Being the BEST. BOY. EVER. on Mother's Day and making Mommy's first MD the best day she's had in 4 months.

 

 

 

 

 

Flying high with the Momster.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When did Elton John move into the neighbourhood?

Happy Friday

Despite the fact that Cohen woke up 3 times in the night, yesterday was a great day, maybe due to my 4.5 hour break that my sweet friend Katie gave me. Katie is a genetic counselor and doesn't have kids of her own...yet, so why she'd want to come hang out with Mr. Fussems is beyond me, but she did (maybe she's trying to figure out if he has some genetic anomaly that make him both super cute yet super fussy).

And wouldn't you know he was perfectly behaved. And went down super easy for his nap. Yay Cohen!! Yay Katie!!!

Today has been great too. We put him down at 8:00 last night, he nursed at 4:00 a.m. and then slept until 7:15 this morning. I feel GREAT after getting a combined total of 8 hours of sleep!!! Went to my mothers meeting, then took some new pants to get shortened by my favourite Korean couple, then came home and the little sucker had fallen asleep in his carseat and is snoozing in his crib. I actually was able to eat lunch and go to the bathroom. What a big day.

Fingers crossed that the good vibes continue all day.

Thanks for all of the encouraging phone calls and e-mails dear friends. You'll never know how much hope and different perspective you've given me.

This is not the super cute outfit that I was going to show you. He peed all over that one during his nap. Hopefully this one will get you through your day!
 

The Ultimate Showdown: Baby vs. Mommy

Baby - 1

Mommy - 0

Much to my chagrin, I am officially throwing in the sleep training towel for now. I just don't think Cohen is ready for it and I personally, for my mental health, cannot take one more night of his crying. 5 nights is enough to know it's not going to work right now. If his crying was tapering off and was for a shorter amount each night, I'd keep going, but it's not.

Got him down by 8:00, he woke up at 3:20, cried for 20 minutes. I'm thinking, once again, "Great, only 20 minutes...this must be it!!" Wrong-o Timber Tom. He woke up at 4:40 and cried until 5:45. Then again at 6:25, at which point I got up and answered his booty call and nursed him. Aren't they supposed to cry less each night? Not my dear, sweet-natured Cohen.

After talking with my mom, who's 3 daughters all slept 12 hours at night by the age of 4 months, and Christian, I've decided to give in for now. Some of you will be happy to hear that.

But I will certainly try again in a month or so. For now, I need more sleep to deal with Sir Fusses Alot all day.

My friend, who's baby is a week younger than Cohen, and I went for a walk yesterday and Cohen fussed and cried the entire time while her baby just sat there taking in all the beautiful sites without making a PEEP. I had to carry Cohen and push the stroller (her sister eventually caught up with us and pushed it for me) around the park to keep him calm. When we got back to my friend's house, she hugged me in a "I'm sorry you have such a rotten kid" kind of way and I cried the whole way home.

I really hope he doesn't get kicked out of daycare for fussing so much! We're meeting the director of the daycare today and that will definitely be one of my questions.

On the bright side, he looks adorable in one of the outfits a friend bought. I'll post a photo tomorrow. He might fuss a lot but he sure is cute to look at. I don't know what I'd do with him if he was ugly.

Throwing in the sleep training towel

So everyone and everything I've read says that it takes 3 nights, sometimes 4, to get your baby to sleep through the night. It's going to take more than that to get Cohen sleeping through. Little jackass.

We got him to bed at 8:00 last night. We've heard that babies' bedtimes should be between 6:00 and 8:00 p.m. (thank you for confirming that Marci & Tara). So we're aiming for 7:00 but need to get there gradually. The goal is within 2 weeks MAX. We figure if we move it up 15 minutes every 3 or 4 nights, that should do the trick.

As last night was night 4, I had medium hopes that he could do it. The stinker woke up at 3:20 and cried until 3:40 and then again from 4:25 until 4:45. I was awake the whole time (an hour and a half) and was just so out of my mind with exhaustion and frustration from the previous nights that I threw in the towel and nursed him back to sleep. He didn't wake up until 8:40 a.m.

So, I e-mailed his pediatrician this morning and asked if I'd blown it and had to start over or if there's any point in continuing. She wrote back to keep going, so that's what I'll do. If he can't seem to get it by Saturday, I'll quit and try again in a few weeks. As I start my new job next Monday, I was hoping to have this done by then.

I know that this is such a controversial thing and everyone has their opinions (and thank you to everyone who has e-mailed them to me) and I greatly appreciate all of the wisdom, but I am going to keep going with this. My friend is currently sleep training her 8 month old and she told me this morning that she regrets not doing it when she was 4 months old.

If Cohen can't seem to get it, then I will continue the middle of the night nursing and will look and act like a royal hag at work. Now that's a great way to make a lasting first impression.

And the absolute worst thing about all of this is that Christian says I've lost my sense of humour. I can't even make any joke about this entire experience. Now that is a sad day at Hancock Manor when I can't find humour in a crappy situation.

Thinking he's all that and a bucket of fried chicken in his sweater suit. Thanks Nana.

Another sweater ensemble he's been waiting to fit into. Thank you Kirsten. He's been told he looks like a teddy bear when he wears this. A non-sleeping-through-the-night Teddy Bear. This photo was captured just prior to him throwing up on himself 3 times and then peeing on it.

 

Too good to be true

I knew Cohen wasn't sleep trained to go through the night yet. I had high hopes. Yes, I sure did.

He went down at his usual 8:45 last night only to wake up at midnight and cry for a minute. I thought to myself "Yay, he's done it!!". But oh no. He woke up at 3:20 and cried until 5:00, slept for an hour and cried at 6:00, at which point I got up and fed him and started getting ready for the day.

We'll try again tonight. I still have high hopes, just not as high as before.

Is this really happening?

So, against the advice of some friends, we did start sleep training on Friday night. As I wrote yesterday, Friday night did not go very well. Cohen cried for close to an hour and a half, but I remained strong (stupid? mean?) and did not go in and comfort him.

Last night he went to bed a little earlier than his usual 9:00 p.m. and woke up sometime between midnight and 1:00 and cried for a couple of minutes and then did not make another sound until 6:20 a.m.

Could he have already been trained to sleep through the night?

Probably not.

I'll let you know tomorrow.

Sleep training SUCKS!

The title of this entry says it all. Enough said.